Pet parenting isn’t supposed to be difficult. But for some cat parents, it’s a complete nightmare. What else can you call it if your own cat doesn’t like spending time with you but only comes to you when it’s hungry?

Some cat parents report extremely hostile behavior from such cats, which can only be heartbreaking. Below we explore why this is a common occurrence, and what to do about it.

Why does it happen?

According to experts, this is not very unusual behavior. They present a few explanations for the behavior that include;


Cats experts say that rehoming is one of the reasons cats may act this way. Rehoming is a tedious, sensitive process for some cats, especially those that have been homeless for a while or been living in a shelter. The cats have to get acquainted with proper living again first, and that can involve a rocky relationship with their owners.

Meeting new owners

Another common cause of tension in cats is the fear of change. Cats that have had to change owners tend to be icy toward their new owners. It’s a natural reaction to change, experts say, especially if the cat had grown close its former owner.

A natural sense of Independence

While we expect all cats to be dependent on their loving owners, cat experts reveal that some cats are not as dependent. They prefer being on their own. When such a cat is adopted, it cannot foster a relationship with its owner, even with added effort.

What to do

May cat owners feel unhappy and disappointed because of this behavior. Others feel inadequate, like they aren’t good enough as cat parents. What should you do if your cat is staying away from you except during meal times? A few ideas might help:

Give it some space

The best thing you can do for such a cat is to give it some space. When it steps away from you, let it go. Keep in mind that this new space might take anywhere from three weeks to 6 months to forever before you can elicit a response from it. And even then, keep it giving some space.

Give it some treats

Don’t stop endearing yourself to the cat. It needs a little more time, so keep giving it treats and goodies whenever possible. Don’t force it to come to you. It will come at its own time.

How to know if it’s warming to you

The best news about this is that in many cases, the cat warms up its owners after a while. When it starts to warm to you, you’ll notice a few changes. Experts say that it will start coming closer to you more often, even without your beckoning.

Some cat owners report seeing more desire to sleep on their lap. Most importantly, it will start coming toward you even before it’s hungry. As for how long that might take, there’s no set time. Some cat parents report waiting periods of nearly 6 months. Others see changes in only weeks.